after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i've created a new STD.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
