well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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