Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
