Your mouth is God's brothel.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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