I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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