Nicole vs. Life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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