Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
