so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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