the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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