im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
