Small penises have feelings too.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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