he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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