my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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