Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
