she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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