Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is it penis luge time yet?
As shirtless as possible
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
