why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
