i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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