Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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