her vagine was all disorganized.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
