Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
