I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
