after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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