the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
