I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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