Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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