There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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