question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
