afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
