just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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