Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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