i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
zippers are such a cool invention
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I fill condoms, not promises.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
