she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
