VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
