i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
im holly from the hills drunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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