dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
