The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
