hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My dick has a subreddit
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
