He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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