the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
