dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
