Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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