SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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