No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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