i would punch a child for taco bell
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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