playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
