Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize