I got chris browned last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
