If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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