I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
