I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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