I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
