Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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