Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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