I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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