We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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