I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
