I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
