I must be too annoying 4 u.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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