Don't make out with my wife yet
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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