So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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