dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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