Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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