Duck Duck Cougar?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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