I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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