I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
