kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
