I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
