she was so not down for the gang bang
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
