I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
